Lovers' Embrace

A few months ago, a fellow Peace Corps friend Ben came to visit with his brother Bill. They stopped by my classroom for the first period and made a guest appearance for the students. The timing was mostly good for a surprise visit, but there was one thing that they didn’t expect. At this particular time, my dog just so happened to be in heat.

            The scraggly white dog Vanilla came wandering into class as she often does, but this time she had a follower. A large black dog had been attracted by her pheromones and was close on her behind. I tried to shoo them out, but they just hid under the table. I decided to ignore their presence. However, their next action made this difficult to do.

            The black dog mounted Vanilla and started doing his rendition of bouncing on a pogo stick. Vanilla was not in the mood and tried to spin around and shake him off, but he was too firmly attached. They wriggled around on the floor in an awkward twist and then both stood up and faced away from each other. There was just one problem, they were still attached! These two dogs were now standing in the center of my classroom stuck together at their butts. His red rocket was firmly inside Vanilla and from this angle it was impossible to pull out. I didn’t know that this position was physically possible, but the visual evidence as a class demonstration was undeniably real.

Then they started to yelp and howl. We tried to get them outside, but in their tricky predicament they weren’t really able to walk. Nobody wanted to touch them, we just kind of hoped that they would pull apart.  We could all see what was going on, but nobody knew what to do about the situation. The students started giggling and we tried to move them out of the room and continue the lesson. We finally got them out, but their painful moans were still right outside the door. I tried to repress all laughter and go on with my teaching, but this was too much ridiculosity.  After the class period, I went outside and was dismayed to see that they were still stuck in their unfortunate embrace. It took more than an hour before the black dog finally dislodged and skulked off licking his wounds.