A Different Kind of Diversion

Many things about my personality have changed during my island isolation. And much of this change has been due to how I spend my free time. Our work and responsibilities often take up the biggest chunk of our waking hours, but what we do in our free time really defines who we are and how we develop. The unfamiliar circumstances of my new life in Chuuk have shaped the manner in which I pass the empty hours and this has in turn influenced how I think, behave and live.

One of the main purposes of leisure activities is to escape from the pressures of a difficult life. There are problems in everybody’s life. The extent and severity of those problems might vary greatly, but the emotions and feelings that are produced are rather universal. Whether it be desperate starvation or an annoying traffic jam, people all over the world share the same emotions that spur from problems. Anger, frustration, depression, anxiety and sadness are a part of each and every person’s daily life.

If we accept the inevitability of these unfortunate events, we can surmise that the way that we deal with these inescapable issues determines our level of happiness. How we decide to internalize these situations and make sense of them in our minds is the key factor in our measure of life satisfaction. When faced with one of life’s troubles, we have the choice to attack (anger), accept (sadness), or avoid (?).

Being a “glass half full” kind of guy, I usually tend to opt with the avoidance choice. I am not sure if this is the correct approach because the effects can vary significantly, but it has worked out for me pretty well so far. But the “so far” of my life has been relatively limited. I have lived a privileged life of comfort and joy with very few serious problems that have plagued my existence. However, during the last year and half I have finally felt some of the mysterious emotions that are a constant companion in many people’s realities. I have felt loneliness, frustration, depression and a million other things.

Being in a strange foreign land, I have been forced to find new ways to deal with these problems. When the inefficiency of school frustrates me, or the social isolation depresses me, or the collectivism smothers me, or the failure of plans angers me, or the lack of luxuries disappoints me, I must find a way to pull myself out of the slump and back to a pleasant state of existence. I am not the type to brood or mope. If I am in a bad mood, it usually doesn’t last long. I scheme around until I find something that diverts my mind and makes me forget my troubles.

In America, there are an unlimited number of ways to do this. Our society is built upon it. We slave all week at jobs that we hate and then splurge in fun activities on weekends and nights. Technology, infrastructure and the media make sure that we have plenty of options to block out our problems and float into a complacent milieu of happiness.

But in Chuuk, none of those things exist. I cannot drink a case of beer when I want to relax. There is no Internet to distract me and pull me into its endless web of entertainment. I don’t have a TV to switch on and melt my mind into a contented blob of satisfaction. My family and friends are thousands of miles away and are unable to provide their cheerful company. My island is the size of a mountainous golf course and has no space for football fields, baseball diamonds or tennis courts. The standard leisure activities are simply not available for me.

So as a result, I have found different ways to spend my free time and pump up my gloomy spirits. And I have now come to realize that these new ways of pulling myself out of the dumps are actually probably better than the habits I developed in the states. There are three main things that I have learned to do when I am at a low point.

One of these is reading books. I have always wanted to be a book reader. I like books. I enjoy the stories and love letting my imagination get lost in the words of a fantastic tale. I also am a huge advocate of learning from books. There is an unlimited amount of information in books just waiting to be discovered. I am constantly striving to expand my knowledge of the world and absorb as many things as possible, and books are the really the best place to start.

            I have these romantic notions about books, but most of my life I have been kind of a hypocrite. I claimed to like reading, but never really did it. Sometimes I would read 10 pages before falling asleep at night, or skim over a class text to glean the important points. But overall, I was pretty lousy when it came to book reading. My problem was that there were just a lot of other options, and settling down to read a book was not on the top of my list. When an unfilled space of time came around, I would go through a list of possible activities depending on my current attitude. I might call up a buddy, or go play a game of basketball, or watch a movie, or play a video game, or shoot a game of pool, or hang out with the family. But reading a book was probably about number 9 on my list of fun things to do. Naturally it usually got ignored as an option and was demoted to the lowly position of “should-do’s”.

            All of that changed when I came to Chuuk. Suddenly all of my options from 1-8 were out of the picture. Book reading fell into the open slot and finally got its chance. And boy did it take advantage! I have been on a reading rampage. From fiction to facts, I have been pouring over dozens of books and filling my mind with a million thoughts. Having a kindle (before it recently broke) was a convenient helper because it allowed me to have a hundred books in the space of one. Also all of the classics (past copyright dates….before 1920 something) are all free. So I can peruse the famous passages of literary distinction and load up on tidbits of all the so-called required reading. Besides the old books, I have also been running through a good selection of new stories and non-fiction. I try to balance my reading between enjoyment and learning. I always am reading at least 2 books at the same time (sometimes more than 5). One is a good story that will suck me in and take me to a new world, and the other is an interesting compilation of facts that will stimulate my thoughts and expand my intellectual understanding of everything. This system does a good job of keeping me entertained and learned.

            When the stifling heat of my room is too much to handle or the prospect of loafing around isnt appealing, I look to a couple of other options to clear my slate of negative emotion. Spending time with little kids is another one of my failsafe methods to avoid sadness. Children are always happy. They are bursting with excitement and an eagerness to explore their little worlds. The smallest mishaps prompt hilarious outbursts and the faintest changes create a flood of happiness.

            In my tiny island community, kids are everywhere. I have an entourage of midget followers that stick to my tail anywhere that I go. Sometimes they are hanging off my shoulders and other times they are skipping circles around me. I play silly games with them, twirl them in the air and go along with their funny childish activities. A contorted facial expression will bring a flurry of giggles from my baby sister and a casual toss of a ball will send a throng of tiny ones scattering around.

            I have a little sister of my own and I did work at an elementary school for a while, but this is really the first time that I have been completely surrounded by children. I joke with my other Peace Corps volunteers that my only friends are old men and little kids.  I spend a lot of time with these munchkins and I almost never walk away with a frown on my face.

            The other thing that I do to take my mind off my worries and relax is to simple sit. Sit in silence and do absolutely nothing (except thinking and looking). This is something that I never ever did in America. Once in a blue moon I would spend 2 minutes by myself enjoying my surroundings, but it was a rare occurrence. I am an extrovert and constant activity is what I seek. But that has begun to change.

            I am now entirely comfortable sitting in silence and doing nothing at all. This may sound boring, but in actuality it provides a fabulous opportunity to observe the world around you that you never knew exist. This reality is always there, but we very rarely slow down enough to notice it. I am speaking of the universe outside of human activity. Beyond the conversations of friends, underneath the rush of modernity, below the buzz of the media, and outside the manufactured net of human activity. This is our world. Planet Earth. Mother Nature. The other 99.9% of stuff that happens without involving us.

            My tranquil island environment makes this much easier to appreciate than in a bustling metropolis or crumbling ghetto. I can sit on the soft grass of the dock under the shade of palm tree and peacefully gaze at the tendrils of rippling water wisp on the glassy surface of the sea. My home has a thick coat of tropical trees and plants that explode with greenness and overwhelm the senses with smells of budding flowers and exotic fruits. If I listen closely, I can hear a hundred different conversations of invisible twittering birds that flutter through the trees. The horizon stretches forever in all directions and melts into sticky swirls of orange and pink that ooze over the clouds like the runny yolk from a broken egg. At night, the twinkling stars are unimpeded by smoggy pollution and glaring streetlights so they are able to shine through with their brilliant radiance and light up the sky in a dazzling display of glowing freckles.

            Truly observing the fantastic beauty of the natural world and allowing myself to become a part of this mysterious evolving creation is an experience that always humbles me. I am blessed to be living in such a stunningly gorgeous place and forcing myself to appreciate my surroundings is a good method of bringing me back to a high level of happiness. The world is an amazing place, and my trivial problems float away when I view them in the broad spectrum of this beauteous planet. I tell myself, “no worries, the fucked up world of civilization that is troubling you is only a speck in the vast web of reality. Just relax and enjoy the ride.”