Mosquitoes Mosquitoes Mosquitoes

Hatch in a scummy pond of stagnant water, suck the blood of innocent animals, transmit disease, lay eggs, and then die. This is the life of a mosquito. In my opinion, the mosquito is quite possibly the worst creature on this planet. They serve no positive purpose whatsoever and are a pest to our existence. I honestly believe that the world would be a better place without mosquitoes.

Often people make that claim about flies, spiders, or snakes, “I hate spiders, I wish all the spiders in the world were dead” However, this is a short sighted and foolish exclamation. Every part of nature is involved in an intricate web of interaction and codependence that we often overlook because we are sitting high and mighty on the top of the food chain. Its true that spiders are creepy crawly creatures that scare the bejeezes out of people and can sometimes deliver deadly bites. But if all the spiders in the world were destroyed, we would be in big trouble. Insects like flies would dominate our planet and their numbers would run rampant. We need spiders to eat other insects and keep the delicate balance of nature stable. I may be blinded by rage, but I think that there would be no significant negative impacts if all the mosquitoes in the world were destroyed. No more malaria or dengue fever, no more itchy bites, no more buzzing pests in your ear.

I have always had a hatred of these buzzing little pests. I must have tasty skin or suffuse an appetizing odor from my pores. Mosquitoes love me. I have yet to meet another individual who has been plagued by these bugs as much as I have. If you have ever been on a camping trip with me, you can attest to this fact. I get eaten alive even when I am slathered in bug spray.

Living in the tropics has taken my relationship with mosquitoes to a whole new level. These small islands in the warm tropical belt of our planet are breeding grounds for mosquitoes. They are ubiquitous at this longitude. It is rare to go more than a few minutes at night without seeing or feeling the presence of a mosquito.

One interesting observation that I have made is that the proportion of mosquitoes on an island is inversely related to its size. The smaller the island, the more mosquitoes it has. I thought that the relationship would be opposite because big islands have more water, more animals, and more space. However, I was wrong. The smallest islands tend to be swarming with mosquitoes and the larger ones are bearable.

Mosquitoes have become such a regular part of my existence that I refrain from complaining and just let them go about their business. (Well, I guess that I am complaining right now). They are woven into the fabric of life and are unavoidable, so what the hell, just live with ‘em. But living with them can be difficult at times.

I was motivated to write this blog at this moment because I just returned from cutting firewood in the mangrove forest and had a particularly gruesome experience with these bugs. I was only in the swampy ocean side forest for an hour or two, but I received upwards of 40 mosquito bites in that time. My legs, feet and shoulders are covered in itchy bumps. This event has only been surpassed one other time in my life when I was camping in the Sierra Nevadas and we ran out of bug spray. I returned from the trip with over 80 bites. My body was a mess of irritated pink swollen lumps.

The one good thing about receiving a multitude of mosquito bites is that I think I have built up an immunity to their poison. Of course they itch, but I have developed fabulous self-control with scratching. I can usually resist the urge to claw at the bite with my fingernails. I sometimes employ a strategy of rubbing the area around the wound instead of making direct contact with the bite. I am convinced that this has a serious effect on the growth and development of the sore. The mark of the blood-sucker usually just lasts a few hours, and very rarely stays for more than a day. I assume that my lack of scratching and religious application of hydrocortisone (anti-itch cream) are the keys to keeping this problem manageable.

I could be more proactive about mosquito avoidance, but I am kind of lazy. I ran out of bug spray a couple of months ago and I don’t use a mosquito net even though I have one. It’s kind of unwieldy and would dominate the space of room, which is the only private space that I have. I do light mosquito coils every night, which slowly burn a noxious smoke to deter the mosquitoes. I also have a ritual where I kill one mosquito in my room before I go to bed.

Now lets get into some details about numbers. Two nights ago, I went on a killing rampage in my room. I killed 32 mosquitoes in about a 10 minute period. I clap 3 or 4 with my hands and was surprised that I killed them so easily, so I decided to go on a search for the lil buggers. Over 30 became victims to the smack of my palms before the night was over…..I still got half a dozen mosquito bites that night in my sleep.

When you hear me make these claims, don’t disregard them as exaggerations or the whining antics of a mosquito sufferer. To the best of my reasoning, I think I have settled on good approximations of the number of mosquito bites that I get. On a standard day, I usually get between 10 and 20 bites. Sometimes I only get 5, but sometimes I get a hell of a lot more. I can confidently say that in a 24-hr period, the average number of mosquitoes that bite me is around 15. My Peace Corps service is about 800 days. If I extrapolate upon my average bite number and assume that it will stay relatively constant I can come up with a total number of bites. My calculations show me that in the duration of my time in Micronesia I will have a cumulative number of approximately 12,000 mosquito bites. The number could really be anywhere between 10,000-15,000, but I think that 12,000 is a good enough guess.

Yes, this sounds unbelievable, but its true. Mosquitoes love me, and because they love me so much….I hate them.