Colors of the Ocean

I was sitting near the dock the other day, staring at the sea as I often do, and I realized that the ocean is not simply blue. Describing the complexity of the sea with a single word just doesn't do it justice. So for fun I decided to count how many different shades of color I could pick out in the ocean scene in front of me. I started near the shallow shore and followed my line of sight past the coral reefs and into the open depths. I came up with 13 distinct colors of the water. Here is a list of the precise scientific and indisputably correct names of the colors:

1.     Baked Lay’s Potato Chip

2.     Winterfresh Mint Mouthwash

3.     Tanqueray Sapphire Gin

4.     UCLA Bruin Baby Blue

5.     Fluorescent Booger Snot

6.     Superman’s Spandex

7.     Underbelly of a Gecko

8.     Smurfs’ Blood

9.     The Cover of My School Notebook

10.  Just Got Punched in the Face

11.  Marge Simpson’s Hair

12.  Some Swedish Guy’s Eyes

13.  Gooey Blueberry Pie